Reflections

Two weeks have passed since I left Kigali. The transition home has not been as hard as I had expected. I was so grateful to return home. That first day I sat on the couch and watched movies for hours. The overall transition was so gentle. I left last Wednesday to go to Florida to visit my grandparents. This trip was especially relaxing. Being away from the internet allowed me to truly “get away” and not think too much about my impending responsibilities of school but also was somewhat of an escape of my responsibilities I felt to Rwanda. I returned to Oak Park a few days ago and feel refreshed and prepared to begin my junior spring at school and also to continue my work with Rwanda, albeit from afar.

I was afraid for my transition to the US while in Rwanda because I feared my reactions to much of America’s excessiveness and extravagance. When I arrived, however, I tried to let myself accept it and instead of resenting our culture and myself for all that we have, I think about how fortunate we are and the capacity we have to help in places like Rwanda. I guess the only thing that I am more conscious of after my experience in Rwanda is “sweating the small stuff”. For me-it is like a newfound empathy for people. When I hear someone angrily complain in line about how long is the wait or yell at a worker unnecessarily…it bothers me more than it ever did before. I don’t compare these people to the suffering in Rwanda, but rather think why do they add to the unavoidable pain that exists in the world?

I am rejuvenated from my trip to Florida and am prepared to support WE-ACTx and Rwanda in every way now that I am home and when I am back at school. I am eager to talk about the experience and describe as best I can what it is like for Rwandans today. At home I am working on major fundraising for Rwanda. Mardge and I will host a fundraiser dinner this summer at my house to raise money for WE-ACTx. I am still looking for a stationery store to donate notecards with drawings or photos by the Rwandan kids to sell as a fundraiser. Other ideas I have are creating collection boxes—in which families keep a box in their house full of extra things they do not need but would greatly help a Rwandan family. This would be a great way to concretely help a family, raise our consciousnesses about places and people that are less fortunate, and of course get rid of all the excess things we all have lying around our houses! In terms of Rwanda, I am pleased to inform you that my program for the adolescent girls will continue, even though I am away. They are going to expand it so more girls can get involved. When I return to Dartmouth, I am hoping to work with AIDS workcrew to do a fundraiser to raise money for the adolescent program in particular. I think it is a wonderful way for Dartmouth students to get involved and is also a very worthy cause.

To conclude my final blog posting, I share my last reflections on my experience. I believe I have grown immensely after being in Rwanda. I met some of the kindest, warmest people there and am forever grateful for this. I also saw firsthand the hardships people encounter on a day-to-day basis in their lives, especially in light of Rwanda’s history. I am hopeful that Rwanda will remain a peaceful place and that genocide related violence will continue to subside. I pray that the pain and unhappiness that so many Rwandans experience will quiet with time but not disappear altogether. I look to the future of Rwanda—the future generations to help create a new Rwanda that is known not for its genocide and ethnic conflict but rather its warm, generous, and kind people and culture. I hope the day will come when I return to Rwanda—maybe even as a doctor. Until then, I will remain in contact with the friends I made, devote my energies in the United States to raise awareness about Rwanda and support WE-ACTx, and always remember what Rwanda has taught me.

Thank you all for your incredible support in reading this and your support when I have returned. I feel so fortunate to have friends, family, and professors who have a desire to learn more about places like Rwanda and help.

As Always--With hope for Rwanda,

Leah

Leaving Rwanda

I am leaving in a few hours for home! I have been so busy these past few days that I haven't had the time to reflect on what I am feeling. Yesterday I said goodbye to everyone at the clinic. I wrote many people letters to say goodbye, which helped me say goodbye in a meaningful way.

It was so sweet--even though most people have no extra money--I received many little Rwandan gifts from friends and the kids. I couldn't get over their generosity. Flouride, on Sunday, invited me to her house and fed me a meal. She also gave me a Rwandan skirt (fabric you wrap around). Josee, another women from the Family Program, took me yesterday to a tailor to get measured because she is making me Rwandan outfits! Something very sweet is that Alice and Flouride insisted on buying my mom a gift, and so I went out with them twice to find the perfect gift. I wont say what they bought her (because I want her to be surprised, and lord knows she's reading this blog entry! Hi mom. Love you) but it is such a sweet gift. I felt so bad because it was expensive! But in Rwanda, you do not turn down something offered to you.

Last night I was packing and looking at my pictures and listening to sad music (probably not the best idea when you are leaving a place like this..) and I became a bit emotional. The thing is--I can't place my feelings exactly, but I think it had to do with knowing that the kids and women with HIV are hungry so much of the time and that they will live shortened lives because of AIDS. I think I am also nervous about coming home because I have never really experienced "culture shock". Mostly, I'm scared of the unknown. I'm really excited to come home, don't get me wrong (hot standing showers, a house sans cockroaches, etc.) but of course it will be a bit of an adustment. Everyone who has been to a place like Rwanda has prepared me for this reality.

I received funding to go to Rwanda from a Dartmouth service organization. In exchange for the money to cover the costs of the trip, I must write a ten page paper about "What Rwanda has meant to me". Ten pages really should not be difficult considering I've probably written 100 pages on this blog... but I haven't yet figured out how I can "sum up" my experience in the paper. I have decided to wait writing it until I am away from Rwanda, so as to gain some clarity on my overall feelings.

I hope to write once more in the blog once I am home, when I have had time to truly reflect on this experience. I hope that writing one final entry will give me some semblance of closure in Rwanda.

I can't thank you enough for reading the blog and for all of your support. I am fortunate to have friends and family that want to learn about places like Rwanda and who are eager to help.

With hope for Rwanda,
Leah