Leaving Rwanda

I am leaving in a few hours for home! I have been so busy these past few days that I haven't had the time to reflect on what I am feeling. Yesterday I said goodbye to everyone at the clinic. I wrote many people letters to say goodbye, which helped me say goodbye in a meaningful way.

It was so sweet--even though most people have no extra money--I received many little Rwandan gifts from friends and the kids. I couldn't get over their generosity. Flouride, on Sunday, invited me to her house and fed me a meal. She also gave me a Rwandan skirt (fabric you wrap around). Josee, another women from the Family Program, took me yesterday to a tailor to get measured because she is making me Rwandan outfits! Something very sweet is that Alice and Flouride insisted on buying my mom a gift, and so I went out with them twice to find the perfect gift. I wont say what they bought her (because I want her to be surprised, and lord knows she's reading this blog entry! Hi mom. Love you) but it is such a sweet gift. I felt so bad because it was expensive! But in Rwanda, you do not turn down something offered to you.

Last night I was packing and looking at my pictures and listening to sad music (probably not the best idea when you are leaving a place like this..) and I became a bit emotional. The thing is--I can't place my feelings exactly, but I think it had to do with knowing that the kids and women with HIV are hungry so much of the time and that they will live shortened lives because of AIDS. I think I am also nervous about coming home because I have never really experienced "culture shock". Mostly, I'm scared of the unknown. I'm really excited to come home, don't get me wrong (hot standing showers, a house sans cockroaches, etc.) but of course it will be a bit of an adustment. Everyone who has been to a place like Rwanda has prepared me for this reality.

I received funding to go to Rwanda from a Dartmouth service organization. In exchange for the money to cover the costs of the trip, I must write a ten page paper about "What Rwanda has meant to me". Ten pages really should not be difficult considering I've probably written 100 pages on this blog... but I haven't yet figured out how I can "sum up" my experience in the paper. I have decided to wait writing it until I am away from Rwanda, so as to gain some clarity on my overall feelings.

I hope to write once more in the blog once I am home, when I have had time to truly reflect on this experience. I hope that writing one final entry will give me some semblance of closure in Rwanda.

I can't thank you enough for reading the blog and for all of your support. I am fortunate to have friends and family that want to learn about places like Rwanda and who are eager to help.

With hope for Rwanda,
Leah